Dating in your 40s is sure to feel a little different from dating in your twenties or thirties, and for several reasons. On the one hand, Colier explains, you might have children who need to be prioritized, and therefore, you don’t have as much time to devote to a new love interest. Or on the other hand, you may still want to have kids, and so there may be a sense of urgency around finding a match, she explains.
And even if you don’t want children, of course the urgency to find a partner can still exist. Colier notes that middle-aged singles may feel “fundamentally flawed or lacking” because they haven’t “checked the box” that so many of their peers have. “For a lot of women, the cultural conditioning is still so strong that we’re not complete until we’re in a relationship, and that’s crazy,” she adds.
Plus, between family obligations and hectic work schedules, it can be difficult to meet singles your own age, even when you frequent events and social scenes near you.
But the good news is, Colier tells mbg, dating in your 40s also gives you the unique opportunity to swim in the dating pool as a mature adult with a strong sense of self. “If we’ve done some inner work, then in the 40s we have the opportunity to have a much healthier relationship. Another person adds to our life if we’re healthy, as opposed to ‘You filled in,’ or ‘I need you to be okay,'” she explains.